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Published on:

29th Nov 2024

The Sounds of Holiday Silence: When to Hold Your Tongue

Knowing when to hold your tongue can be just as important as expressing your opinions, especially during the holidays. James Brown shares his reflections on the art of restraint in conversations, particularly in mixed company where differing views on politics and religion often collide. He emphasizes the value of silence and careful communication over heated debates, drawing on personal experiences from his large family and the challenges of maintaining relationships amidst differing beliefs. By recalling the wisdom of Kenny Rogers, James illustrates the importance of knowing when to engage and when to step back. Ultimately, he invites listeners to consider their own approach to discussing sensitive topics during festive gatherings.

James Brown delves into the delicate balance of communication during the holidays, reflecting on the importance of knowing when to speak and when to remain silent. He shares personal anecdotes from his own family experiences, highlighting how contentious topics can strain relationships, especially within diverse groups. Brown discusses the value of holding one's tongue around the dinner table, particularly during festive gatherings, where differing opinions on politics and religion can lead to uncomfortable debates. Drawing inspiration from Kenny Rogers, he emphasizes the wisdom of knowing when to engage in conversation and when to step back, illustrating that sometimes the best choice is to preserve harmony rather than assert one's opinions vehemently.

Throughout the episode, he illustrates how his perspective has evolved over time. While he once relished in sharing his opinions and engaging in discussions, maturity has led him to appreciate the subtleties of interpersonal dynamics. By opting for silence, he aims to nurture relationships rather than jeopardize them over disagreements that neither party can resolve. This thoughtful approach not only fosters a more peaceful atmosphere but also allows for deeper connections beyond superficial discussions about divisive topics. Brown encourages listeners to reflect on their own communication styles, especially during family reunions, and to consider the long-term implications of their words.

The essence of the discussion centers around the idea that words are powerful, and choosing when to use them can be a strategic decision in maintaining relationships. Brown invites his audience to contemplate their own experiences with communication during the holidays, prompting them to weigh the importance of expressing their views against the potential consequences of doing so. The episode culminates in a call to action for listeners to share their thoughts on this topic, creating an engaging dialogue about the complexities of communication within families and social circles during the holiday season.

Takeaways:

  • Knowing when to hold your tongue can be crucial in both personal and professional settings.
  • Engaging in debates is not always beneficial; sometimes silence can preserve relationships.
  • Family dynamics can shift over time, making holiday gatherings a delicate situation.
  • Reflecting on past experiences can help us decide when to speak up or remain silent.
  • The wisdom of knowing when to speak your mind versus holding your peace is invaluable.
  • Maintaining harmony during family gatherings often requires careful consideration of topics to discuss.

Links referenced in this episode:

Transcript
James Brown:

The art of knowing when to hold your tongue.

James Brown:

This is commentary from James Brown.

James Brown:

I like to argue.

James Brown:

I can't help it.

James Brown:

It's part of who I am.

James Brown:

When I feel strongly about something, it hurts not to speak up.

James Brown:

I'm hyper opinionated and I've learned to love the sound of my own voice.

James Brown:

You know what?

James Brown:

I suggest you embrace yours, too.

James Brown:

You only got one, after all.

James Brown:

But as I've gotten older, I've realized something I'm grateful for.

James Brown:

Sometimes you should just keep quiet at work and at home, especially around the holidays.

James Brown:

I'm fortunate enough to keep mixed companies, different races, different politics, different religions.

James Brown:

And the truth is, not everyone is up for a debate all the time or debate they won't win.

James Brown:

So if you've shared a holiday dinner with me in recent years, you'd notice I'm quiet, even about topics I could discuss for literal hours.

James Brown:

It's not because I don't care, because, oh, I care.

James Brown:

I'm just careful.

James Brown:

I call it the Kenny Rogers lesson.

James Brown:

You know the one?

James Brown:

Sometimes you got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run.

James Brown:

You never count your money when you're sitting at the table.

James Brown:

There'll be a time enough for counting when the dealing's done.

James Brown:

Why?

James Brown:

Well, I come from a huge family and I've watched it shrink for a lot of reasons.

James Brown:

Some bad luck, others just dumb.

James Brown:

And I haven't had a big Thanksgiving or holiday celebration since I was in single digits, largely because of that dumb stuff.

James Brown:

I'd rather keep those I'm knitting together than lose them over something neither of us can control.

James Brown:

When the dealing's done, you got to know when to hold up.

James Brown:

What about you?

James Brown:

What do you think?

James Brown:

Do you think it's better to speak to your mind or hold your peace during the holidays?

James Brown:

Let me know in the comments and support my work@jamesbrowntv.subsec.com on that note, I'm James Brown and as always, be well.

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About the Podcast

All of the Above with James Brown
Exploring ideas big and small with fascinating people
I explore the big ideas that bring us together and meet the people who make them happen.

Musings on news, life, and television. A few minutes a day, five days a week.

Hosted by James Brown is an award winning journalist whose work has appeared on WXXI, PBS, NPR, BBC, and a slew of other places from sea to shining sea. He's the former host of USA TODAY's 5 Things, now The Excerpt. My work is proudly produced in Rochester, New York.

My goal is to create a diverse array of projects in the style of the people I grew up following: like Bill Moyers, Paul Harvey, John Stossel, Charles Osgood, Charlie Rose, Adam Curtis, Tavis Smiley, Douglas Ruskoff, Tony Kornheiser, and Art Bell, with my own twist, of course.

You can find my work anywhere you get your podcasts.

To support my work and tell me what you think join me at JamesBrownTV.substack.com.
Or email me at jamesbrowntv@gmail.com.
You can also leave me a message at 585-484-0339. And yes, I will call you back.
On that note, I'm James Brown, and as always, be well

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